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There are lots of ghost reality shows on TV these days.  You have the Professors of ghost hunting, the GhostHunters on the Syfy Network.  You have the frat boys of Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel.  You've even got Celebrity Ghost Stories, A Haunting, The Haunted Collector.  In movies you've got those Paranormal Activity movies that come out every year.  If you like this stuff, you owe it to yourself to waste.. err.. I mean make time to so Episode 50.

Episode 50 takes its title from this being the 50th investigation of the group of paranormal investigators, complete with their own Zach Bagans "muscular" investigators and his team of fratboys.  They take their investigation to the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, which is alternately a wired, lighted, furnished building and an unfurnished shit hole of an asylum. 

We learn that one building is sealed off because 5 homeless men were found dead in the basement with their eyes and faces "frozen in fear".  Do we get to see them? Nope.  The other tales of murders by something in the asylum are only stories, no pictures, no nothing.

Oh, wait, I forgot.  This all starts happening after we see an investigation in Episode 49 in a home where a guy starts freaking out and is scared about paranormal activity, and ends up thinking something coming through the door is a ghost, and he ends up smashing his wife in the face with a fucking hammer.  The investigators say nothing is happening, and they are pretty much paranoid and stupid.  Maybe too much hippy lettuce?  Hey, fuck you too, buddy, I work here!

Anyway, let's see..  returning to the asylum.  The show's producers decide to add some excitement, by taking a group of paranormal believers and having the two teams work together.  You know, believers and skeptics can sometimes make a good salad on a menu.  

The believers are led by a true believer in God and poltergeists and the power of good, and is convinced he will show the skeptics that this shit is real!  --->

 

2007-2015 Four Tokens Media

 

--->  Their are a couple of jabs taken at the Ghost Hunters crew as well as the Ghost Adventures crew.  One of the investigators is afraid of bees and freaks out when he sees a few hundred on a window.  One Ghost Hunter is afraid of spiders, and pretty much everything else.  A guest investigator shows up speaking in a bad Scottish accent, even wearing a kilt.  The Ghost Hunters have an Irish guy join their investigations sometimes, and even have "guest stars" show up from television shows, even wrestlers from the WWE.  Other characters include the psychic, the attractive woman, the wimp, and "a good friend since childhood".

There is attempt at humor, when two investigators talk about temperature changes in the air, and when the thermometer is pointed at his chest, he is told he has a "cold heart'. 

Apparently their really is paranormal activity with spirits trapped and unable to cross to the other side, combined with a demonic presence and a story about a crazy guy who raped and tore apart 7 women, one of whom is a nurse who now haunts the asylum.  The nurse acts like those nurses in Silent Hill that are more contortionists than nurses.  But nobody really sees her.

I kept expecting something to happen that was interesting.  The only thing interesting is the lone investigator who doesn't notice the nurse behind her until she picks up her camera to take some photos because she senses a presence. 

The climax of this movie is a bit confusing, taking place in a totally different place, I think it was a jail, where they confront evil on what looks like an old 1980s heavy metal album cover.

We conclude with the producer watching the footage in his office, seeing all the crazy stuff that went down during the investigation, ending in two deaths and Episode 50 never airing on television.  I think I read his mind, it said "I hate myself, I hate this script, I have to fire my agent.  Episode 50 tries, but ends up being, simply, trying.  Screw this movie.

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